originally posted: February 22, 2024

What should you be sorry for?

It’s so exhausting to hear Black women apologize. It’s exhausting to hear women apologize. But definitely moreso Black women. Because now isn’t the time for apologies. And besides, what do Black women owe anybody, anywhere? Certainly not apologies. So what are you sorry for?

We don’t have time for being sorry. This is the time for bold decisive action. Everyone who isn’t a white cis gendered white man needs to buck up, and get in the god damn fight.

If you’re a woman, a they/them, a BIPOC start taking up space LOUDLY, AGRESSIVELY, WITH CONFIDENCE AND CONVICTION.

Right right meow meow. Literally, no more apologies.

Don’t apologize for doing what you want.

Quick story time:

A good handful of clients, every now and then, will sign on for a project and then fall off. They say they want to do this thing, or that thing, whatever thing. Who cares? They most certainly don’t.

They get a call with me. We discuss the project, the idea, the mission, the vision. Then, they disappear. They return, every 11 days or so, with a cute little list of reasons why they didn’t touch base sooner. It always starts the same “I’m sorry.”

Girl, why? For what? To whom? What are you sorry for and why are you telling me that?

It’s a pattern. It repeats, and none of these clients is that original. The incessant apologizing – to me, of all people – is starting to drive me absolutely fucking bonkers.

Why I do What I do

When I decided to work for myself in 2017, I’d just lost my job in ad sales and I knew that I didn’t want to go back to office life. I didn’t want to do stupid small talk and engage in office gossip, and send memes back and forth with assholes who drew dicks on the whiteboard, and who came from outer long island Captain Jack money.

I wanted to do the things that enriched and intrigued me, and put my brain power to positive use. I’ve always known that I’m smart, capable, and a quick study. So I knew that I could use my intelligence and drive to create a job for myself that I’d actually love showing up for.

Who Are You Here For?

When you start working for yourself, part of the early stages is deciding WHO your buyers are. And being super duper specific about it.

My ideal clients are women, they/thems. BIPOCS in the creative small business arena. You can look through most of my active portfolio to see who I work with and who I want to build for.

I chose my niche because I’d been in the art scene, downtown and midtown corporate, and around the very very wealthy upper east siders. And the only thing I’ve seen that really separates any us as humans – aside from generational wealth – is the belief that we can do what we want.

Our achievements are limited only to our mindset.

So I set out to start a business that was committed to putting more certain voices online. I wrote blogs, and crafted content specifically to connect with certain people. And when I booked hourly consults I always told everyone, “We can do that. You can do that.”

My job isn’t just building the thing. I also give my clients clarity, direction, motivation, and support toward doing what they say they want. I want you to follow your dream ALL THE WAY THROUGH.

But not if you don’t want it.

Apologize to Yourself.

If you paid me money, don’t apologize to me.

I got what I came for.

“Did you come?” is the REAL question. Did you come to work? Did you show up for your project? Did you take consistent action toward your goal every single day?

Did you pay me for advice, guidance, a web design, writing help, and then go AWOL? Did you pay me money and then burnout on your end of the bargain, while I was tending to your project, and 4 other projects at the same time?

But you burnt out?

Don’t apologize to me, bb. I’m still going. I’ve been at it for years, and I got years left in me. And I take time off largely against my will. So please, skip the apology.

Ask yourself what you’re sorry for.

Ask yourself if it really means anything to be sorry.

Ask yourself about all the people in your life who put you down, or abused you, or abandoned you. Do you think they’re sorry? If they were sorry, and they said it, 12, 15, 25, times would that make a difference to you?

Would it change anything if the person who stole your confidence said “sorry?” Would that make you believe in yourself again?

Because my guess is it wouldn’t. The words “I’m sorry” are only a peace offering at best, a present.

The only thing that can give us confidence, or change our futures, is determined and directed action.

Please do not apologize to me. I’m just the web designer, writer, half-psychic gypsy that can conjure up your vision for you. You waste your time with me that’s on you. I’ll keep flying my magic carpet regardless.

Ya dig?


a few extra words on the subject:

Do you need help going after what you want? And planning your next steps? Book a one-hour consult with me today, and I'll give you the exact roadmap & step-by-step to achieve your goals.



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I'm Ruth Nineke

I know websites, writing, and heavy promotion. I also know you need to stop doubting yourself and book your call with me.

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