Respect women’s time. Respect freelancers’ time.
Had to drop a client earlier this week. It was a super mutual decision though, because we were not getting that website off the ground.
She didn’t like anything I showed her because she felt it didn’t show her as confident, or competent, or knowledgeable or whatever and tbh she’s absolutely right. I had literally no idea who this woman was, or what value she brought to her clients, other than she communicates extensively?
I didn’t know how to display her, or her service offerings in a clear, strong or vibrant way. Because she never showed me any of that as an individual. So how could I translate it to the site?
She didn’t know what she wanted, and she didn’t know how to position herself, and she wanted me to work through that with her.
Except she booked a website package instead of the creative coaching sessions. She wanted to zoom with me every week, and sometimes for more than an hour, to help figure out her vision. Girl! Do that before you book the website.
Don’t order a website when what you wanted was the coaching.
That feels deceptive and exploitative.
Two Type of People: Do-ers & Talkers
One thing you learn working for yourself is that some people are action oriented, while others are more interested in conversation. Some people focus on results and some people just want attention.
The attention seekers want to be comforted and validated. They need to be made to feel safe through bonding. And they achieve that bond by talking until some arbitrary unknown (imaginary) time where they feel emotionally secure enough to attend to their own dreams.
In corporate sales those who excel at closing deals understand how to speak to people to make them feel safe. They know exactly how to listen to what’s not being said, and how to express assurances to their targets.
And make no mistake, in sales every prospect/potential client is a target. Babes, I don’t work in corporate or sales anymore. I did my time and I’m not going back.
If you don’t say it I’m not guessing or picking up signals. Say what you mean, mean what you say. Move it tf along.
I work in fucking freelance.
I perform creative and technical service for people that don’t have the time or the skill to do it for themselves. I make websites, and stores. I put together eBooks, PDFS, email templates, and the occasional manuscript for print publication. I write blogs and post reels to Instagram.
I’ve built a business and a “brand” persona by being authentic and true to myself. I talk like a New Yorker. I say what’s what and I show people the tools I used to make my own schedule and earn a living ON MY OWN SELF-DEFINED TERMS.
That’s what you like about me: I’m blunt, sometimes crass, mostly clever, and insanely fucking determined.
Also, I know myself well enough to come off as super confident. But I’ll be the first to tell you confidence is like the weather; sometimes it’s sunny and sometimes it’s tsunami. My confidence issues are my own to resolve though.
And yours aren’t mine to figure out. You want to work through your self-doubt and you want to be propped up, hire a fucking professional counselor/therapist.
I make websites.
Idk where tf you hoes got it in your head that I’m that person who’s going to talk with you FOR HOURS through the roadblocks of your own mind until the point where you suddenly become empowered off artificial fumes and start believing in yourself.
But my bad bitch tell-it-like-it-is tone doesn’t just magically transfer over to you just because we have a zoom.
I build things. I do things. I write things. I complete tasks.
There is not a single nurturing kindergarten teacher, guidance counselor bone in my body. If you want someone to sit on a mat with you and play building blocks while you talk about your ideas IT ISN’T ME.
I will give you the toolset to outline and extrapolate your own ideas. I will give you the affirmations, and the motivational Playlist. I will give you pointers for hydrating, Journaling, exercising as methods of emotional regulation but I will not give you confidence or a hug and back pat through zoom.
Grow up.
Put on your big girl panties and take action. Life is passing you by.
People die, Babe, and one day you will too. You really wanna waste the forever you don’t have twirling in circles of indecision and self doubt?!
That’s who you’re showing up as in the world? A woman who doesn’t know her own mind? A woman who can’t self-define and stand firmly on her choices?
Nah get away from me. I’m not here for you.
My purpose in life is to speak the truth and teach by example.
And you’re on fucking crack if you think you can pay me to help you find your purpose. You define your purpose. You learn to listen to your own voice, your own instinct. You do not get your purpose by someone else telling you what it is. You can not pay someone to find the real you.
When you know exactly what you want to achieve, say, deliver, then come find me. I’m the doer and the builder.
Pay me for my skillset. Pay me for my time and labor. If you want to plan your business and have step-by-step guidance, and you want to workshop your product/service deliverables, your brand mission, your logistics, etc then order the coaching package.
Don’t order a website when you wanted a business coach. And if you look at my portfolio but you don’t really like the caliber of my work then don’t fucking book me!
If you read my blog, or subscribe to my newsletter, or follow me on social media then you know I’m just living my life on my own terms. I am self-defined and in perpetual motion. You can learn a lot from me just through observation.
I’m in my truth. But I cannot give you yours.
I’m not your mom.
The hand-holding broads are somewhere else. Go find them. There’s someone for everyone.
And that brings me to a VERY BIG, VERY important point:
Stop expecting women to nurture you. Stop expecting women to be accommodating and flexible and easily exploited. I am not that woman. I am not here to rub your back, or to say “no worries if not.”
I am not the woman who will go the extra mile or perform emotional labor to help you feel more comfortable. I resent it. I will burn bridges and your house down.
If you reach out to me in a professional capacity please come prepared with your own identity and convictions and tastes. I’m not working through any of your decisions with you.
And the reason is this: if you need me or anyone else to tell you who you are, or what you like, then those answers are always subject to change. And the more you change your mind on a project with me, the more of my time you take up. And if you’re paying a flat project rate, but eating up my time you should be paying an hourly rate. And that changes the way you use time doesn’t it?
The more time I spend talking with you or listening to you think out loud and literally say nothing concrete or crystalized, that’s less time I have to write blogs, write code, research software, create videos for other clients.
If you want to talk to me to, please pay by the hour on the booking form.
Good chat 😘
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